Inhistoric.com: The Sports History Blog

Following a Monday Night Football loss to the Dolphins -- their only blemish of the season -- the 1985 Chicago Bears hopped on a charter plane, looking to restore the dignity and ferocity they had attained by winning their first dozen games. So what did they do? Well, what any team would do: they recorded an absurdly goofy rap song.

The intention was to cut a song where the proceeds would be donated to charity, or to "feed the needy." Ultimately, the team's attempt to come off as philanthropists was obscured by how ridiculous it was.

In order, Walter Payton, Willie Gault, Mike Singletary, Jim McMahon, Otis Wilson, Steve Fuller, Mike Richardson, Gary Fencik, and Refrigerator Perry stepped up to the mic. There are plenty of candidates for the most absurd performer: Payton for the line, "Running the ball is like making romance," McMahon for awkwardly gaping into the camera, or maybe its the numerous players who unconvincingly pretended to be playing instruments while barely twitching their fingers.

I imagine that whenever the Green Bay Packers are eliminated from contention, a group of Cheeseheads head down to the basement where they exhume a VHS of the Super Bowl Shuffle, insert it into a dusty VCR, and proceed to cheer themselves up. "Samurai Mike" and "Mama's Boy Otis" have never looked worse.

Aside from the cheesy music video, admittedly the song isn't that bad. It's certainly better than most athletes' attempt at cutting album (Shaq Fu: Da Return anyone?). The Shuffle became a monster hit and was nominated for "Best Rhythm" and "Best Blues Vocal Performance" at the Grammys, but lost to Prince and Revolution respectively. The exposure from their 15-1 record, coupled with the "Da Bears" skit on SNL, transformed the Chicago Bears into a media circus.

We need more sports teams to perform songs together. It doesn't even have to be original, let's just get them in a music video where they can karaoke the music. Let's get the Golden State Warriors to perform Manowar's "Warriors of the World United," with Andris Biedrins wailing away on guitar. Or maybe the Jets can sing Rockwell's "Sombody's Watching Me," with Eric Mangini singing in the shower.

By the way, the Chicago Bears were in no way the only sports team to release a song. In fact, the Bears' success led to a rash of team themes in the 1980's. If you ever need a pick-me-up, and you think that hearing Pat Riley or Jerry Rice or Eric Dickerson sing will do the trick, click on this link.